Glorious Euphoria of the Golden Witch – 48 – Viva La Vida

– A truly gentleman leaves no puzzle unsolved

Put your thinking cap on, grab some tea. R07 throws a puzzle party. EP8 is actually one of the rare vns in which makes the reader interacts in the story and solve puzzles and mysteries. The perfect contrast to all the stories and to this mystery in which players ultimately meets a dead end by not solving a puzzle in time and running out of time. 

Remember when it wasn’t about evil witches, intellectual raping, none of us weren’t such theatergoers, and all fragments were nice? Whatever happened to us?  Many would say I’d like to know that myself. 07th Expansion’s stories are a mixed box of euphoria and nihilism. It presents us with enough positive developments to not despair and enough tragedy to be not overly sweet. As far as it concerns me there should always be some type of balance. Umineko can be a feel-good story when it wants to be one. This is definitely one of those times. Good kakeras. It reminds me of playing with Lego pieces or watching the clouds on the blue summer sky. We’re talking  simple, good, nice fun. That’s what Battler wanted to present. And that’s exactly what the author wanted to present. You can really see how much emotion the author put into this section. Puzzle. time.

But before that a previously on Seakitties moment.


Compared to the initial part of the story the puzzle party really brings out the best of the human side as humanly possible as it could. The puzzle party is tons of fun. ぬいぐるみ has to be the cutest Umineko piece ever. It’s so nice, happy and relaxing that it pulls you into the merrier side of this game. Umineko already has many spectacular pieces, compared to those this track is simpler but just as easily as fitting as it can get. Personally, I think the piece was a step up from the beach moments and Sakutarou’s theme. The piece takes the readers to the world of niceness where there are no worst kakeras, people are great and there are no trolling witches. This is good stuff, everyone. This is the stuff. Twilight’s puzzle party is another great segment of EP8 that makes the whole reading experience memorable even featuring your classic Umineko moments only now with puzzle madness. R07 does this back and forth between puzzles and dialogue among the Ushiromiya and Ange. He also answers some questions the readers had since forever. He also even made puzzle for the readers. He also admits that not even little Ange takes Hideyoshi’s character seriously. I’m just saying, puzzles in Umineko seems so right that I want to see more of them in his future works.

But that’s not all.  Umineko’s puzzles aren’t about random mathematical puzzles, they are most definitely very character centric. Kumasawa has mackerel puzzles.  Krauss has a Skyscraper puzzle and Natsuhi has a piano puzzle because she’s classy like that. I’m finding little fragments of happiness in every place. I felt like watching Aria the Animation all over again only in puzzle form, with hime-cuts, and not really in Italy v2. But it wasn’t only about puzzles there were also important character moments. A favorite is Natsuhi and Beatrice’s reunion in which they all make up forgiving one another for all the bad blood they’ve had all those years. From throwing Beato from the cliff to how Yasu threatened Natushi over the phone to paying Shannon only one salary instead of two to good old Beato being the cause of Natsuhi’s headaches. Talk about EP5 scenes. Those were some rough moments and not cool moments. Not the EP, what they did. Isn’t this party great or what? Even Krauss looks respectable. OK, we may be pushing the envelope there. Like Natsuhi did in Legend. OK, I probably wasn’t supposed to say that.

What you all probably should know is that every puzzle has an answer and that everybody in this party has a puzzle. Everybody pitches in, even the less interesting characters from the Umi-cast. Ronove was one of the best characters in the first four arcs, Genji on the other hand was one of the most generic characters of the bunch. The man was too plain and didn’t get to shine much in the story. I always believed his character lacked depth because there was hardly any growth. Because of this anything to make him stand out especially in the very end of the story would feel forced. So he used to be in “dangerous business” before or something like that and he became Kinzo’s whipping boy after he saved him years ago. As mentioned before, Genji’s secret felt forced to me. I suppose the author wanted to get some information out before the story was over to explain some details which were never covered. I suppose Genji had to have his moment.

Now, what was in a way strange was Battler ‘not knowing’ this information yet be able to ‘learn’ something from them in his game. There will forever be the magic is *real* deal in the story, however, there will always also be the possibility of magic not existing therefore most of the story (especially this scene) could be delusion. By that, even if of all this is make-believe and everything is but illusions, then how is it possible that Battler could learn something he had no actual knowledge? You think about that. We cannot be sure. Of what we are sure about is that this segment is both meant to be character redemption and puzzle madness. Like Professor Layton who to him everything around him is a puzzle. Imagine how hardcore must you be for everything to remind you of a puzzle? Who is the intellectual rapist now?


Everything in Battler’s party was cool except for Dull and Duller. Kanon and Shannon didn’t ever rub me the right way. ‘Oh, hey kid. How you doing? I killed your family with my mad crossdressing skills and no one saw it coming.’ ‘Hey there. I cut the garden and stuffed your folks in the shed.’ Not exactly what I would call friendly in any day. There’s something really not cool about Ange interacting with Shannon and Kanon in this party or at any moment, but this is me going by the popular and well accepted Skannon is the Culprit Theory. The reason behind it is that we have basically been forced to accept that they’ve been greatly responsible or/also been in cahoots with some family members for the demise of the whole family. There are too many theories that work around those possibilities and those possibilities are too plausible. Shannon and Kanon had a part in those theoretical incidents. Maybe not directly as the culprits but they played their part in it.  And the possibility of it makes it awkward to expect Ange and the furniture to interact like nothing had happened.

Maria’s puzzle was the tricky type which was there to remind everyone that one has to read a whole puzzle properly before jumping to conclusions. And while not shockingly enough Shannon’s puzzle was quite ambiguous I especially enjoyed the puzzles which were even more character and theory-centric in nature. Talk about possibilities. Talk about self-deprecating humor, Seakitties. Talk about TURN of the Golden Witch. Rosa’s puzzle about how many gold ingots she could carry in and out of Kinzo’s secret study room and still make it out alive took the cake for most theory-centric puzzle. Rosa’s puzzle was so amazingly ironic that it is like the Banquet of the Golden Witch, impossible not to like it. If the puzzle means anything near what I think it does then it is pretty much a confirmation of my old theory about Rosa screwing up and blowing herself up in EP2. It was nice to see Ryukishi in his own way reveal the answer to some mysteries theory-weavers had already theorized in this party.

Kyrie and Rudolf’s conversation was the least satisfying of all. Granted, I’m biased and this pair was never a personal favorite. The puzzle party more than anything showed how much more of a crappy child of man Rudolf was and the more I read the less one could believe that Asumu was that bad. Asumu was another character in the story who we will never really know for sure since every information on her are from her family to Kyrie and Rudolf’s POV. The truth about Battler’s birth is as bad it sounds. Rudolf threatened the hospital and switched the babies. Correct. It was already a given, but in some degree there was the possibility of some better explanation. There isn’t anything else to do with his story as it comes down to Rudolf being the selfish jerk from day one to the last day. I’ll have to give him some credit for not shooting people in the back if what EP7 Tea Party said was true.

And while to me that was the author’s way of explaining why Ange only cares about Battler without resorting to incestuous explanations, I am also saying that I was totally bummed out that Kyrie did turn out to be Battler’s real mom after all. Before anything, you have to see where I’m coming from with this. Firstly, there’s the fact that pretty much everyone already guessed that one. Secondly, there’s the fact that it was incredibly predictable. Thirdly, these incessantly incestuous debaucheries are like those awkward siblings relations in anime in which each season they all seem even less subtle. I know. I know that Kyrie being Battler’s mom was a total freebie for Umineko theorists everywhere. I’m not that much into freebies when it comes to theories. Me, I was looking for something deeper regarding that mystery. It was so obvious from the beginning that it never came as a surprise to anyone. Once again, it wasn’t that it was badly explained. It was that the truth was exactly as everyone had guessed.

Looking back on it, the showdown between Battler vs. Beatrice in EP3 could’ve been won with a swift counter by Battler: If Asumu isn’t Battler’s mom then the next logical choice is Kyrie. Repeat it in red, witch. Battler isn’t Kyrie’s son. But that would kill all the magic from that scene. All that aside, one last thing to think about that also happens in that scene is. Why would Beatrice “know” of this if only Rudolf knew about it? A) Magic. B) Heard it. C) Rudolf told Yasu. R) We’ll just cut the writing some slack on that department. Some questions won’t be ever fully answered. Still those type of questions are like Yasu’s actual gender, makes one wonder, doesn’t it?

I had a dream that this puzzle party would never end. I had a dream the full Eng patch would’ve been released sooner back in the day. I also had an actual Umineko dream which I woke up prematurely. It was sort of like this tea party. I kinda saw it coming that the two cousins would be sharing a puzzle. This duo has been sharing everything since the story started. Screen time, lovers, patience. It’s like the two are joined at the hip. Three if you throw Battler into the mix, but he’s just too boss to share. In addition to some of the siblings, the cousins probably have also the right to complain about how they got majorly screwed up and two-timed by Yasu in all episodes. Jessica probably sounds like the bigger victim of the tale. Jessica’s been a too easy target. For someone with knuckles and a volatile personality Jessica sure goes down too much. It’s a real tragedy she got punked by the maid for years just because she made some strong comments about someone else who Shannon took personally. Now, that’s a real tragedy. Especially since Jessica isn’t the dick-ish Ushiromiya type we’re used to. All of this aside, there’s also the fact that she looks disturbing similar to Beatrice. No, that was never a valid theory.

George and Jessica’s puzzle was one of the hardest and most complex puzzles of the party that the story actually takes it time explaining it. If we have to make a long story short this segment was about the fact that the future will change the truth over and over. That it was up to Ange to decide in which truth she chose to believe in. That this party was about showing Ange that the Ushiromiya also had fun at some point even if memory fails her. It was especially nice to see that R07 got some inspiration from Higurashi with that red or blue box puzzle. Puzzle-wise everything was a lot of fun especially for all the Umineko readers and puzzle fans taking these puzzles seriously enough to solve them.

Caps goes HERE

Oh, Battler hiding all of the big festivities. We’re gonna be like that, Bats? I wondered where the magic people were, same as I wondered about the pacing of Twilight. Battler was waiting for Ange to go to sleep to throw the real party. Party like a Rockstar.  Party like a Theatergoer. Ryukishi really wanted to bring everyone to the last party and this can be seen also with Battler’s request to Dlanor to send an invitation to Erika. One of the main surprises was Will and H/She Lion escaping from being sent to depths of oblivion after the Ep7’s Tea Party finale and by no other than Lambdadelta. I have to admit that Battler and Beatrice meeting Will and Lion felt especially unreal since they were characters (and with different goals) that never directly met before and now they’re in front of each other. One were the main characters, the actors, the other was the group reading about the other’s tales. That aside, leaving Will and Lion to meet their fate would leave a bad aftertaste and that’s why Lambda saved them. I’m against bad aftertastes same as I’m against Dlanor’s voice for the PS3 version. Something in me told me that Lambda having Will and Lion as her game pieces (see. Ange) wasn’t going to end in anything good for them but I later realized it was nothing like that. This is probably the only time that something doesn’t go wrong in Umineko.

I’m just going to quote Battler when he said everyone should enjoy the unending night to the fullest. And that’s exactly what they do. There were so much ridiculous amounts of, for a lack of better term, win in the human and magical residents’ dialogues. Rosa, pink Siesta, Hideyoshi, and Sakutaro discussing the topic of leadership. Gohda commenting on Ronove’s suaveness whose in every movement of his is flawless. Soon preceded it by Gohda x Belzebub moments, which happens to be a good system as characters go. There are good systems in Umineko. We have uncertainty, we have super paper. It’s a good system. Gohda likes to cook, Beelzebub likes to eat. It’s a good system. Battler likes voluptuous women also blondes, Beato is in theory a voluptuous woman and in theory a blonde. It’s a good system. I like to solve, theatergoers like to read. It’s a good system. Krauss advising Cornelia may not be the best idea, but regardless I was just blissfully surprised how well everyone managed to interact with one another so perfectly. For anyone unfamiliar with the story this wouldn’t have as much impact but for the readers following the story and knowing all the characters as well as they do, this is Ryukishi doing his best to make scenes like this work flawlessly and feel real without changing the characters. It does not take much to imagine yourself in this party.

The writer has actually created this world of social relationships in its own universe. These characters from different worlds who are able to interact at last and they all somehow manage to interact like they’ve been friends forever. I can totally see how Umineko Twilight is doing things right when they can even make Dr. Nanjo relevant in the part via mystery genre talk. If there was ever a way to make Nanjo be interesting this was it. We’ll never know if R07 planned it from the beginning or realized it halfway and built on that but the synergy among Umineko cast is out of this world. Literally, out_of_this_world. Umineko Twilight’s party hit the highest point in showing the perfect synergy among all Umineko’s characters.

It would not be Umineko without the multiple twists. Stories like When they Cry make one forget what IS actually happening behind the scenes because we’re so caught up in the moment that we forgot there is still something seriously wrong in the story. That’s the bucket of cold water always waiting for the readers. Rokkenjima’s tale is whole reservoir of that.

Bernkastel turning out to be fashionably late to the party is exactly what the readers would expect. Of course she’s running late – she’s Bernkastel. Of course, the cat got something up her sleeve – she’s Bernkastel. Of course, we all know we’re ready for it. I absolutely loved Will and Lion’s and everybody’s expression when Bern showed up when pretty much the whole place got quiet. You know that things just got serious when even the BGM stops playing. That was how serious it was. I loved even more how Battler and company realized good ol’ Bern was behind Ange’s kidnapping. Let’s not forget how unprofessional and luzly Battler can be as GM. Nothing says I got this game beat like “even I the Game Master don’t know where my little sister is”. Moments like these made me think it was Dawn all over again. GMs don’t know what happens in their gameboards. What a crazy world we live in, everyone.

All of this time while reading EP8’s puzzle party I was thinking, “really now, where exactly do I sign for this?” Come to think of it, where is Ange? And why did I feel that disquieting feeling when she was left alone a couple of minutes ago in the other room. Did we not learn anything from previous games? I was enthralled by the fun puzzles that I had forgotten about the evil lurking in the When they Cry series. That is not an exaggeration. It’s always one bucket of cold water to the face when least expected. When Ange woke up and tried to open that door and the the door was locked I just knew that something was up. Ridicule.wav was just the icing on the cake for the scene. That’s a piece that no one wants to hear outside of the Umineko world. I’d pity anyone who finds themselves in a dark room all alone and Ridicule starts playing. That means run as fast as you can. Leave the premises. Get out of that fragment ASAP, but you know by that time you’re already screwed. You know it’s going to be Dark, trolling, evil, Umineko time. This was one of those time.

The story progressed that way it had. We knew that it’s Trollkastel time because The Witch Court audio was playing. It was always a given that at some point the witches would show up. Bernkastel showing up and forcing Battler and Beato to play her game is exactly what one would expect from Bern. Sure, Bern will be forever known as a sore loser by every witch if she wouldn’t let Ange after the fight, but there was something extremely cheeky about Bern swearing on her and Lambda’s friendship to keep her word. If you can’t trust on the friendship of this pair then who can you trust?  You can trust on this episode being as properly hyped as it was when things are only going get crazier from now on. Battler’s performance in Twilight gets better and better. If it wasn’t clear that Battler and Beatrice acknowledging Erika as a friend and requesting Bern to free her from the depths of oblivion. I had so much and gain respect for Battler once again that I’d probably Bro fist him if I could just for that. Umineko also says it –  opponents are necessary for a game.

What Umineko Twilight brings is the clash that has been going on forever. It’s always been about Bern getting her revenge on Battler and Beatrice. What really comes down is this fight. They have to fight Bern. A Bern who lost to Lambda and a Lambda just got her revenge from Higurashi on Bern. A fashionably late Bernkastel brings a game of her own to play with Battler and Beato. Of course, I wanted to see it. Finally a showdown over a genuine and straightforward whodunnit mystery to have a go at it. That type of thing. That type of thing is one that gets its own entry.


5 thoughts on “Glorious Euphoria of the Golden Witch – 48 – Viva La Vida

  1. The party with all the characters was really special it was great to have something like that.I loved the puzzle part thing, I tried to solve all of them. But I was tricked about Maria Puzzle and I actually solved it without that certain game-word. It took hours, just to get a wrong answer.

    • As many logical puzzles they require thinking outside the box. I took my time solving them myself. As puzzles go there were easy ones then there were harder ones then there were puzzles that require knowledge of the Japanese language were especially more than challenging.

  2. Shannon and Kanon are completely innocent! It’s the “Beatrice” personality that killed everyone, so you’d be more justified in complaining about her being invited than Shannon and Kanon. And even then, most people don’t think she killed anyone in the real world.

  3. Not really, the japanese language puzzles were pretty much translated and made easier. I thought the most challenging ones were the obvious ones.Bern’s puzzle wasn’t easy at all tho :/

  4. I really have a strong feeling on the theory. Since Virgilia states in Red Truth that Beatrice never killed anybody or intended to happen, which would also explain the appearance of Goldsmith( which would be Yasu as he/she inherited everything technically) in episode 4 and convinced everyone to play along (except Battler) , that they would get money, which explains the cards with the millions of yens that the family members of the servants got… all Ange had to do was go to Kyrie’s , Rosa’s household and see if they had gotten those cards too , to confirm that theory. Someone always solves the epitapth… and well , decides not to play along and get all the gold… Everyone faked their murders and that would be fine since everyone would wake up afterwards and play Battler a fool… however someone sneaks in and kills everybody, but no one really freaks out since they think it’s simply great acting and make-up Yasu is using. Eventually the island explodes and kaboom, my theory can’t reach the cat-box, hahaha.

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