I watched under 5 seconds of OP Themes instead of the Season (The Experiment Series)

Experiment-Series-Keikaku

First impressions matter. You have 25 minutes and I got less than 5 seconds per show. Watching anime is such a herculean task. Sitting through 25 minutes of uninterrupted animation, paying attention, and reading subtitles. That, that is something I wouldn’t say. Even so, the prospect of checking out every show that comes out each season is not something I’m terribly fond of. It’s like fishing. Pick a few and let the rest be. I’d compare it to watching every show that comes out in a certain channel just because I happen to like that channel. Much like fake tanning, I just don’t that.

OP-themes-fragmented-experiment

To me, there is something about having some fun with the expected high creativity and presentation of the animated medium. This experiment lies in not knowing what scene you’ll find in any Opening Themes. Sure, once one watches an OP theme completely one immediately knows it tries to tell you. Similarly, once one is done with the actual episode the mysteries behind what is supposed to be about in the first place are resolved.

If that is the case then bypass these two and simply skip to the OP themes and watch it under 5 seconds.

Servant-x-Service-animated-gif-experiment-series
bentous are important. I don’t care if the roof is collapsing

Having less than 5 seconds I’d gather Servant x Service‘s world is situated in a place with zero gravity or possibly in an active area. My hunch originating entirely from the flying lunch boxes, the food, the books, and papers all over the office, mysterious not falling to the ground. Servant x Service is not always about defying gravity, but one would also have a hard time not noticing the spectacular dedication of these public servants arduously working even while in a possibly dangerous situation. Both laughing and joking like that there isn’t anything wrong with those lights at all and not caring any that any of those objects ought to be bound by the laws of physics. That takes nerves of steel or be oblivious to one’s surroundings.

Kitakubu Katsudou Kiroku op
Truly one of Life biggest mysteries

I mention that the process of watching and experimenting with anime or any series is often the following : Regular Watch (nothing done) > Modified (retaining the original pace) > Fragmented (such as this) > Whatever is left.

Chronicles of the Going Home Club can only be a school anime. This is indisputably true. Like the earth is round or ice cream is great. I hoped for a more exciting 5 seconds but all I got was a tame and cliche running around school towards unknown directions. I can’t tell if they’re anxious to go for lunch or leave the premises. What I can tell is that the show is about school and students being possibly late for class on their first day. Why are protagonist never on time anyway.

Inu to Hasami wa Tsukaiyou op

Why should they not be late anyhow when the show only starts when the anime protagonist appears. The appointed 2-D protagonist is similar then to a super famous Hollywood star save the pay, or that they often make more of a personal impact for some. No, these are ancient principles that ought not be questioned for they lead nowhere. In particular, it is mentioned one trademark feature of “The Experiment Series”, is increase the amount of restrictions and variables whenever possible to obtain a better result. For that reason one decreases the amount of (X) minutes to less than one minute. In actuality, less than five seconds!

5 Seconds. 5 Seconds which I doubt would have made much of a difference if 5 more would have been given to InuHasa as I gather it wouldn’t have made much sense either way. Based on the comments I unfairly pegged InuHasa as an animal abusive show. How wrong was this notion. InuHasa entirely about something else. It is noted that maltreating pets or animals is not right or fun for the record. Expect maybe fish since apparently they don’t feel anything. InuHasa probably has as much to do with Excel Saga as the word dogmatic has to do with canines or the contents of a doggybag are given to pets, which on that note it is mentioned that doggybag just sounds too weird a word when you think about it. To which I’d rather use the term take-home plastic container but that would sound too flamboyant.

I expected some disturbing imagery from InuHasa that would required immediate responds from PETA but instead I got something random or something very close to Excel Saga minus the unfunny Watanabe scenes. I know this much from a single image : InuHasa concerns two men, a grey haired lady, bondage, possibly blackmailing of some kind, and possibly the Milky Way. The show sounds as safe as a dark backalley in anime. Why would anyone watch a show based on that premise is beyond me.

Gifuu Doudou!! Kanetsugu to Keiji

A reason why this experiment was created was because sometimes I do wonder if any show would have less than a 5 seconds – “how effective would they really be?” OP themes are supposed in some mystical way through J-pop singing and lyrics concerning comradeship to provide an excellent visual representation on the show’s soul and potential. If one then is to take this concept and amplify it one might be onto something. Premises that are assumed. Reactions that are automatic. Unanswered personal questions. Like having a penchant for symmetry, preferring big round things, or why to this day never having a Tumblr.

In this I mention that Gifuu Doudou!!: Kanetsugu to Keiji is likely to be about manly dudes with long hair and long robes. The guy is the opposite for he is bald. His favorite tool of the trade is an axe rather than a Japanese sword because axes were not only made for lumberjacks. Because always are better than katanas. By the same principle they are also all colorless.

Stella Jogakuin Koutou-ka C³-bu op
Of why Osaka transferred

Experiments and watching anime. Personally, I mostly watch shows that I like or that I imagine I might like. When that doesn’t happen I base them on several trusty comments vouching for the show’s integrity and by impossible standards. Seeing that most of my anime viewing experience is covered, there isn’t as much reason to kick and scream when I don’t like a show per se. Being awfully specific about it, the scenario would present itself when a show goes bad like an expired dairy product, near the final episodes. In that case I might be inclined to rant. When an anime is beyond salvation by any dogma or religion, chances are I am not watching. I see no problem.

* In any case, I am watching all of these shows YET not watching them as I write this. Actually watching them to completion would imply understanding plus all inherent biases, not watching them would mean having zero idea what to make of it. This experiment is neither. A fragmented experience means having less than 1% percent of the actual experience. A sort of paradox in itself, which is in actuality closer to absurdity than anything.

Such reactions that don’t make much sense. The preposterous experiment would tell me without a doubt Stella Women’s Academy-something to the third power is about bullying and possibly rich kids. Illogical results from a fragmented experience. Same as the lunacy of rushing to school with a piece of toast in one’s mouth, which by the way, one would inevitably must ask who realistically does that. Who does that. Anime characters.

Free!-gif-op-sequence
Introducing the world’s deepest pool

Does a empty box with a piece of paper attached to it that says “empty” is no longer empty because of it? If isn’t, then is it full? My, these questions have no easy solutions. Unlike Anime Experiments that lay out procedures and solutions no matter how impractical and/or farfetched an experiment happens to be.

It is then a reasonable conclusion to imagine 99% of scenes in Free! to take place in a pool. This happens to be true seeing the first image happens to take place in a pool. But the screenshot about begs the unanswered question how seemingly Free! doesn’t show swimming but a figure doing the opposite of swimming which is drowning. If you are not swimming or floating then you are drowning. For all the trailers, one would imagine everyone in Free! knows how to swim at an Olympic level and is practically drowning safe. Turns out it’s not. Turns out some can’t even swim.

Yes, absurdity. Note how there is something strangely bizarre about watching random parts of anime OP. You start to pick up things you shouldn’t. You start to pick up the out of context scenes and given them some other meaning. Like always assuming students are always late for school, taking literally a cool animation and turning it into a place with zero gravity because that is what it looks like at first glance, and proclaiming axes have no real mass.

WATAMOTE Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui!
it all started with foreign cartoons

Our eyes are then presented with more incongruity which our senses quickly catch. Life, crime, and more than Pyscho-Pass’ sequel could dare to accomplish. WATAMOTE, which my mind irremediably read it initially as Wakamoto. It also did so the second time. Shamefully, also the third time..

Watamote probably provides most misleading random OP scene of all. Maybe it does maybe it doesn’t. Whoever read the original knows best. Utterly confused I went back to it to check, just in case, but found most of the OP theme does revolve around Ms. Sleep-deprived, one-eyed character chained to a wall and screaming like a crazy wild beast. I expected WATAMOTE to bring some type of funny OP with overly cutesy vocals, enough to make me mortified to play without earbuds. Instead I got an overly grimdark theme that doesn’t fit what I imagined the supposed snappy comedy WATAMOTE would be. I guess that proves that OP themes can take very different directions from the show themselves. Or in a way the director imagined this metaphor of being chained and viewed as a criminal was the way to go.

In other words, Watamote is indeed an anime retelling the deciding moments when otakus turn to a life of crime.

dangan-ronpa-op-gif
or my time in juvie

This is our final example. Our final trial before this experiment concludes regarding a fragmented experience. Our senses ought to pay close attention to what we are viewing and so the process is narrated : There is guy falling. You don’t care about the guy. You care the shoe that just came off. Two seconds pass. The shoe is not going anywhere. You now care about the guy. Back to the falling guy and the black background while the music continues. A target appears in the center then it moves to other parts. It targets the knee then targets the left hand. Dude has already fallen but hasn’t hit the ground yet. Who is this guy? Why does he dress in all dark clothes? Why are his socks white? How is the shoe relevant. Here is how: People fall. They lose things, not limited to socks, in the process. Targets move. Green denotes an introduction has finished. This long introduction has finished.

Experimenting while watching anime. Experimenting while watching under five seconds of anime OP themes. The first thing you see is a red background and the title incessantly jumping at you like a frightened squirrel with no walnut, which is always a good thing, the title, that is. I want to remember the name of the show I’m watching. Damnit. What’s more, it’s critically important to set the proper of things such as what comes first before what comes later. One doesn’t make an omelet before one breaks the egg. If so one breaks eggs, sometimes many. One wants to set up the characters in such order one is bound to deduce their importance from it. Right off the bat the bear-like figure appears in front your face after the title, followed by funky music. The bear has two sides to it. Luckily both symmetrically proportionate. One white and the other black. Like one is dealing with the yin and yang if it were a small mammal. It gets real.

Dangan Ronpa is then the hardest to find by far seeing it starts only halfway through the episode instead of under a minute into the show. The OP eventually happens. It’s also eventually hunting season and what could be more ironic than putting a bear in charge and is possibly well armed. Then if so then Dangan Ronpan bears plenty guns and ammunition without lack of target practices. In conclusion, if one is to follow one’s reliable senses then Dangan Ronpa is a hunting show concerning a bear and teenagers falling from unknown planes to unknown grounds.

Then then watching OP Themes under 5 seconds makes as much sense as this experiment. – Experiment completed.

* Part of The Experiment Series

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2 thoughts on “I watched under 5 seconds of OP Themes instead of the Season (The Experiment Series)

  1. Well, InuHasa is *trying* to be Excel Saga. Just not as well as it could be.

    But seriously, great column. I honestly laughed multiple times.

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