Umineko Requiem 43 – FML: Your Everyday Stories

Real stories by fictional people for intellectual and theatergoing purposes. Good thing we aren’t dealing with loonies here. – Oh, w-

“Who’s the girl next door living in the haunted mansion?”
Better learn my name cause I am Beatrice.

Deduced queer matter Van Dine would say. For being fantasy heavy Requiem is coming off as anti-fantasy. Harem of Purgatory are such capital B-itches as those complaining about Ryukishi07’s art. You got a point when referring Higurashi you’re just nitpicking when it comes to Umineko’s artwork. It looks polish and  there’s so much improvement from the boxer hands. Turns out Kumasawa is Yasu’s accomplice and she teaches  Shano- I mean Yasu, the wonders of not being a ditz and how to take things HOME. That’s right. They do it also in here. I’m starting to think that that’s Ryukishi’s personal seal, that asides his knack for purple haired heroines.

Gaap loses a troll subject but gains a friend after Yasu obtains the “take home charm” technique from Kumasawa who had already figured out that Yasu must be Beatrice’s daughter and this must be a SIGN. I’m with old Kumasawa. Sure because a totally normal deceased human is pranking another regular human, therefore a witch must be behind it. Whatever happened to common sense and logical in this island? You got a ticking bomb in your hands and do nothing about it. Literally. Kumasawa is one of the characters that is way too much a detective’s nightmare. The siblings I get, the cousins I could. The furniture actions make little sense in Requiem.

“Yasu, everyone slacks off even Genji” (Androgynous demons duo) Oh, come on. Just when I was buying into what Requiem says it feels like I’m just having my chain yanked.  That would be implying that Hideyoshi is an actual main character. Implying Nanjo is a straight-up doc. That’d implying Genji has a life. Everyone knows Genji has no life.

I’d like to implement the world Lambdadelta as both adj. verb, and pronoun into the English language. For instance, “Lambda is totally Lambdadelta for Bernkastel”,  T.A.T.U. is totally Lambda. My theory is that Luci-nee is Lambdadelta for Yasu therefore her incessant bullying. She’s in denial, like the fantasy side only with better arguments. Is this for real? Is a normal human just magically turning into a witch? The fantasy elements are pushing their limits here.

God I miss Lambdadelta.


Come on, Ryukishi07. We really got ‘Then There were None’ down at this point. You gotta tell me about what others works you’ve read or wants us to read. I am officially on a quest to tracked down and devour every single piece of detective material this guy mentions in the –No Naku Koro Ni series that is available in the English language. So far so good I’m missing that one mentioned in EP5. The great connection here that I had with Yasu’s character is that the first mystery I fully read was also ‘Then there were none”. Here are some hints to solve it. 1) Mind Knox but don’t make assumptions. 2) Look for the only character who could have an actual ‘motive’ Don’t forget the Heart.

R07 should really add more commentary about the mystery genre in his games. That’s one of the reasons why EP5 was so engaging. What I enjoyed the most is the moment when they officially show the moment when this “magic” theme in mystery novels show up. The conclusion, by that I mean fallacy, is that a person when unable to reason out the answer to a puzzle is forced with no other choice than to accept an unscientific possibility as an answer – it was done with magic. Actually, I’m glad that R07 does mention this as this theme isn’t something that R07 ‘created’ rather that he used it as a base to create mad crazy trolling witches vs. Humans plot for Umineko.

Enter the inseparable pair of Beelzebub and Asmodeus and their new human (still furniture) version. Different attire, same faces, same attitude. A lot more possibilities to exploit here and by that it’s implied that plenty of trolling can be done here. Natsuhi is uptight as ever so all the servants drop out of the school of furniture in Rokkenjima as soon as they got enough cash. Sounds like a good deal, but it is extremely weird when explained. Kinzo, the mad wizard, had orphan kids working for his family.. and this cycle goes on and on? Ok, now after EP7 this part of the mystery makes plenty more sense. Yasu is happy that everyone’s gone so he won’t have to put up with her seniors. Shannon and Kumasawa are her only true friends. That’s two people if we do our math.

Yasu becomes the new ringleader. Or is he? Yasu futilely explains why being a servant on Rokkenjima is serious mother business to no avail to the new blood. And so it starts the intricate master plan on how to punish these pair for their noobish insolence. You heard me. a) We can theorize that Yasu/? did it. Or b) we can believe a bored to death ghost is pranking people on the island. Decisions.

Berume has stuff stolen from her by ghosts while Yasu denies everything. She is harassed to the point Berume herself can’t believe it could’ve been done by humans. ERGO a Witch must have done it. See? That’s it, new maid. The Game, you just lost it. You just accepted the existence of a witch.

Hocus-pocus I say. The trick is the following: “The solution is not in figuring out how the keys were taken or how the culprit took only “one” key out of the set of keys without being noticed – the trick is seeing through the fallacy. The culprit I’d say must be another servant who took her own keys and switch them for the victim’s. In the case of a single key, the culprit who is a servant removed one key from her own key set AHEAD of time meaning not at the moment the victim believes it could’ve taken place while she was distracted. The culprit removes a single key from her whole set of keys and proceeds to replace the set of keys (now with one missing key) with the victim’s, therefore an illusion is created. In conclusion the victim mistakes the other servant’s set of keys for her own (do they have any different marks?) thus the victim firmly believes the culprit must’ve done it in a matter of secs making it humanly impossible. By this the victim is ignoring the possibly the culprit had all the time of the world to do the trick. As a final move the culprit hides the real victim’s keys in a place where she knows the victim will search for them such as her locker and returns the whole set of keys as he sees fit.”

Trolling accomplished. Almost got me for a sec there, new Beatrice. Terrified the servants are turned into humble Beatrice followers. Mission accomplished. This Beatrice ought to make her own cult, I lack a name for it but for the moment let’s just call it Mariage Sorciere. It has a nice ring to it. You know what they say once you go witch you tend to go mad. Actually this is just mad. After having a taste of magic when Gaap possessed him (excuse for hinting to split personality disorder) Yasu leaves this world and reunites with the evil spirit soon to be called Gaap. To the world where there’s magic, no pain, and delicious tea. Sounds like Utopia, but with magic, fine tea, and not so boring. Life is Peachy.

Yasu is winging this The Golden Witch idea she just came up with. She wings better than pre-chiru Battler and his lame theories, wings it better than Nanjo’s fake statements, by god, she wings it better than Deen ever could. Gaap is removed from the witch role and takes the place of the best friend older imouto. Eventually (though not shown) Kumasawa takes the place of Virgilia, Genji of Bronove, and the 7 Stakes as her private furniture. Life is good when there are golden butterflies. At this point from a logical sense this section of the tale stopped making sense any once Yasu disappeared in thin air and from the face of the earth. 「Either s/he existed as a person on this earth or s/he never did. Know that this is an illogical argument. 」 Counter? Magic did it?


Off to the world of witches and fantasy and back again. Shannon is delusional as ever. Totally harsh claim, that said, delusional is a word that I’d use to explain this situation from my terribly logical demeanor. If magic is real then there’s little reason to question. If it’s not real then it can only be a psychological issue. Here is what logically interpreted as a type of wish fulfillment. Shannon, on the other hand, having these dreams can only mean the stress is getting to her head. Fast.

As a side note, the nerve of Shannon to speak in riddles to a witch! Shannon as expected turns down (rude, ain’t it?) Beatrice’s invitation to stay at the golden land a place where everything is possible while you remain in an unconscious or in a coma state. Shannon’s reason is that there’s something she can’t get here that she can in the real world. Everybody knows what that is except for Clair. Requiem is so much about Yasu yet so much about Shannon. Let’s see if we don’t see through that one.

The ever nice siblings are here for the family conference which we assume it isn’t as hostile when all of them aren’t present. But this Family conference lacks so much of what makes the present family conferences of the 1986 games shine. There’s no painting, no epitaph, no nothing. Odd setting. This was way back when Asumu was alive, we’re talking way back when Krauss hadn’t invested money in some lulzy fake Nasa project, when Natsuhi hadn’t dye her hair and when Rudolf wasn’t a dick. Never mind, he always was one. I’m just itching to see Azumu’s sprite to see what she looks like. She probably looks like adult ver of Ange. OR DOES SHE? Ok, let’s forget about that or why Beatrice in the 3rd Game could know that Asumu wasn’t Battler’s mom.. Enough. No more incest or Ange talk. It might be cloudy on Rokkenjima but let’s not rain on that parade. That’s probably for Twilight of the Golden Witch.

Is Shannon the only available love interest in the story? Is that outfit, isn’t it?

The BG music is so off in this part and so is the cousins’ relationship.  I care about the whydunit as much I care about the Whodunit and Howdunit, not more though. Younger Battler is a chip of the old bloke, – meant block trying to look cool in front of the opposite sex and not care about the consequences. The more I read into Requiem the less pro Battler I become, that’s kinda the Chiru vibe I get. That’s no good. If I wouldn’t be in the position of the detective I’d be in the witch-side throwing popcorn at Battler and co. for being a jerk for not remembering what the promises he makes. Battler and I take on puzzles are dissimilar but what I’d definitely agree is that the answer to any mystery should be reasoned out before the end. That philosophy I can 200% agree on. I read mystery to solve puzzles because I like puzzles and what comes with it. Btw, this post was meant to go on Friday but I decided to be a total Battler about it and not do it. Yes, I’m ready for my punishment and be stranded on a remote island. Add some witches please.

Lion is confused, but what’s new about that?

Forget Lion. I’ll call you Oscar. What’s intriguing is the claim that the tragedy happened after Clair (Yasu) solved the riddle years later. From that I’d claim that the result from being aware of her origins is what causes the tragedy. So what would’ve happened if she didn’t solve the riddle? There’s the main issue with Battler coming back, which is why the tragedy takes place… because Battler comes back, not because he doesn’t. According to EP7 even if he didn’t come to the island there would’ve been some “event” though it would’ve paled in comparison to the Rokkenjima massacre. Wait, what event? Is that supposed to mean there would be zero deaths? Something like Shannon acting funny? Y’know, extra funny and I don’t exactly mean it in the humorous sense of the word. And maybe Mr. Tyler furniture club has some rules we aren’t aware of or that don’t make a lot of sense.

FYL. Battler not coming back in the following years makes Shannon depressed as the animation of Higurashi 1st season and as depressing to look at as badly designed Umineko dakimakuras. The following sequences are Shannon meeting the witch Beatrice who used to be her bub back in the day. They try to comfort Shannon after seeing her so depressed. Blue stake incoming.  「This is similar to the dreams Maria has about meeting Beatrice 」
 There’s no real contact with a real person at all. When Maria goes to Rokkenjima she meets a person disguising herself as Beatrice, while in the dreams everything is up to her imagination. Same is for Shannon when we take out the ‘fantasy’ elements. 「What she is seeing are products of her own subconscious mind.」 When we believe a human turned witch one day without warning – what Shannon sees is possible. When we stick to pure rational thinking from this moment Shannon was already having episodes of massive delusion. If the witches hadn’t ridiculed the Golden syndrome theory back in End I’d be all over that one after Higurashi’s premise.

Something I always knew. That face. That smile. Out of the human pieces Kyrie has the creepiest smile in this game to the point you can tell she’s up to something. I lost count how many times I’ve said to watch out for Kyrie. This is the year in which Kyrie shamelessly enters the family and replaces Asumu who, by the way, almost no one expect Natsuhi remembers. And to tackle Natsuhi’s polite statement, oh Kyrie gets easily comfortable all right. Meanwhile the siblings are chatting near the rose garden. Curious thing. The main topics are as follow: a) Battler not coming back this year either and b) let’s torture Shannon. Shannon back in delusional Land keeps having this dream where witches who give her pep-talks. In fact, the real deal is that Battler isn’t coming because Shannon lacks the resolution to quit her job. Hey whatever gets you through the day, Shannon. You crazy deviance, you.

“We’ll get them together” (Jessica)

Oh, they’ll get them together all right. They’ll get those boyfriends together all right, in more than one way.

4 years until the crime. The youth are care free where their biggest preoccupation is getting a boyfriend. Oh no, not Shannon. She already has a fictional one. Shannon’s tragedy continues day after day. In one of them George and Jessica are quite the bullies without knowing (Or DO THEY?) expect George who knew about a possible Shannon x Battler shipping which could undermine his plan to land himself a girlfriend. Clue for George is jealous. Jessica and the servants make Shannon feel like an idiot. It’s like they’re doing on purpose. OR ARE THEY? Nah, she is just meeting the profile at the moment. If you ask me, Shannon has to go USO DA on Battler for not remembering. Couldn’t she take her revenge only on Battler rather than his whole family? Just saying. Focus on the source. The heart. Meanwhile, waiting for 07th Expansion to fully tackle this one and make it believable.

You know who hates and uses letters? Those who don’t get them. The last straw is the year when Battler sends letters to everyone, that is, except of course, the maid of the mansion. Kyrie hands them out to Jessica, George, and Maria. Shannon gets zilch. Oh, George IS quite the douchebag throughout this episode with his passive-aggressive approach. ‘Hey, Shannon. We’re all done here. Take this group of letters, okay?’ Must’ve gotten it from Eva. Those blurry glasses are doing the effect. On a different note, really, it’s not like Kyrie purposely hid any of Battler’s letter. That sounds like real stretch.

Life goes on. The family conference takes place year after year. Kyrie is by now has fully taken Asumu’s place. Everything is back to normal, Battler has made up with Rudolf, but possibly he won’t be coming back to Rokkenjima anyway. Back to the first Golden Land Shannon has lost heart, Beatrice blames herself for making Shannon keep thinking Battler would come in his white pony. The reference of ‘seed of love’ finally makes its appearance connecting to EP2 and to the 2nd twilights. Beatrice takes Shannon’s love for Battler away from her and gives Shannon a little brother instead. That’s right, the Kannon. A special someone who pops out of nowhere in existence defying the laws of time and space. It can only be magic I say. Magic.

A new Shannon wakes up. Watch out world. Watch out island.

Next week: Competent detectives. Will does in an episode what Battler did in five. The existence of quality Umineko kiraboshi fanart GMH.

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5 thoughts on “Umineko Requiem 43 – FML: Your Everyday Stories

  1. Wow a full explanation about Yasu being quite well elaborated not that “all because of the Shanon/Yasu/Triche” stuff.

    The next one looks good!

  2. You made an error.
    When you said “Beatrice knew Asumu wasn’t Battler’s mother”, you said “in the 3rd game”, it was actually the 4th.
    But yeah, another excellent read.

      • she knew because Rudolf and Kyrie were her accomplices (remember how Ange fell sick actually the day after that letter addressed to her, as a survivor of the murder, was sent)

        Also, you asked (in this post or the previous) what would´d happened if Battler hadn´t come back in 1986: Shannon and George would´d told the family that they were getting married. Obviouly, she would have to tell them that thing about Kannon and about the true head of the family, since she would be leaving Rokkenjima… big surprise for everyone, specially Jessica lol

  3. As I recall, George took the letters from Kyrie and was the one handing them out to everyone. That certainly makes his reluctance to be subjected to Theatergoing a little suspicious, doesn’t it?

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