Early Prosecution: Nitpicking the Winter Session – Trap to Test, Hanamaru Loligarden, Oppai Himari, Chu-Crap, Dance in the Vampire[…]

Winter session is somewhat amusing, questionable, less than outstanding and with some moments where I’m forced to use hand sanitizers and wear gloves to even touch it.

Btw, I’m throwing those out.

Oppai Himari

“[…] this sort of story used to be fine too”

Here comes the fanservice ~nyeh. Here’s comes cat ears ~nyah. The swimsuits. You get the idea. Himari is the type of show that at some point everyone has watched at least once. Yeah, that show. Hidamari has little to offer as this cat doesn’t excel in anything.

Premise? Yet once again the typical average guy who suffers some amnesia problem. Big deal. Because his ancestors were the enemy of the demons they want to kill him now. Long story short one of the ancestors spared one of Himari’s ancestors so her family swore loyalty to them, leading eventually Himari becoming Yuuto’s slave. That’s more of less what the story is, the rest you can perfectly guess where it’s going. A harem show.

Himari is predictable at best. In fact the level of predictability in shows like these make you think one is psychic. It doesn’t get any better than having the main character being voiced by the same voice actor that did Ito Makoto’s voice. It doesn’t get any better than all the girls are already falling for the him. Even the phseudo assassin falls for him in the third episode. Such is the power of strong kindness and the lack of common sense in Himari. In fact, Himari won’t get any better than it already is in case you aren’t enjoying it. The fights are terribly weak making me doubt this is even an action show but just a badly done harem with a catgirl as its best selling point, a good cat nonetheless. To add to its problems, the animation could used some improvement too. At least they should harder work on it if the main selling point is going to be the fanservice after all.

Ignoring the amount of problems this show suffers. In all fairness Oppai Himari is relatively fine despite how typical the show is, that is, if I were an easy rater. It’s not that Himari is terrible. It’s just a mediocre show whose premise has been used so many times that there’s little reason to watch it unless you still haven’t had enough of it. If you enjoy these sorts of antics and aren’t asking for more than what this shows offers then you’ll probably enjoy Himari much more than I would. Himari is like a story you’ve heard a dozen times that you pick up every now and then just because you’re bored. Most of time you enjoyed reading it but there are times you won’t finish it. Stories like these used to be fine but aren’t anymore. Sometimes even though they’re initially fun they shouldn’t be repeated that many times.

Baka to Trap

“[…] you’ve literally activated my trap card”

Baka to Test is here to test your general knowledge, sexuality, among other things. Baka from the word idiot, stupid, and everything related to a person or an act with minimal intelligence. In great part this genuinely sums up Trap to Test-o. Akihisa is our main character, the obvious loser guy (‘baka’)  of the show who never manages to excel in anything. And people love him for that.

Baka to Test is direct in its approach and gives what it promises — stupidity and more stupidity.  One thing for sure is that Baka to Test loves its trap more than bees love their honey and the Japanese their Nintendo DS and it shows it very proudly by shoving him right in the viewer face (big HD screen).  If you just like traps in general then you’ll have a great time with Hideyoshi and his trappines. Fool, you’ve activated my trap card.

Stupidity after stupidity ensues in each episode in their Pokemon battles. The main premise of the show is to demonstrate that kids with little chances of success can become big winners even if it’s in yugioh battles with no real purpose irl. It hasn’t been completed addressed why the school or even the battles are crucial to their future unless they can get a job with it. Baka to test shows great moment of randomness and stupidity. Following this logic Baka to Test should become greater the more stupid it gets. It totally makes sense.  Multiple that the numbers of episodes to the power of trappiness appeal. If the quality of the Winter season is a final then there’s no way Baka to Test can not ace this test when the trap gives it a cheat list to pass with honors, that is, for the actual viewers. I hear it’s yaoi season anyway.

Hanamaru Loligarden

“[…] totally A-Ok to watch.”

Probably will become one anyway. Another show that everyone seems to love god knows why exactly. It’s GAINAX, its big gigantic robots, over the top action, it’s world ending scenarios, greatly depressed kids and others with too much testosterone in them who save the world every time. Hanamaru Loligarden is more or less what I just mentioned only subtract whatever I said after Gainax. Imagine that. Close your eyes and picture lots of small children. Lot and lots of them. With plenty of creepy undertones.

Loligarden comes to welcome us to the world of adventures of a group of Japanese Rugrats (it’s an adventure!) only A LOT cooler and with plenty lolicon innuendos to go around. How can this show possibly not go wrong? Aside from the lolicon tendencies, not much. Loligarden would seem like a nice bet if you ignore everything wrong that goes on in this show. More to the point, Loligarden revolves around the shenanigans of the lolis trying to score with their kindergarten teacher and doing cute things while making SQUEAKY sounds while running. Most definitely, this is without a doubt only silliness and innocent fun. Surely, without a doubt there isn’t anyone misinterpreting this. Surely there isn’t. I tend to forget that this sort of thing is actually common nowadays. Even more to the point, Anzu is totally adorable and so is everyone and also all the situations in this show, like totally kawai desho, desho.

Or so that’s what the creators would like me to believe. Loligarden is weird, trying to change the way we see things and give it a few twists. Guess what guys? This is totally A-ok.  This could be interpreted in a bunch of ways, one of them being less than favorable than the other. In reality Anzu is yet another confused kid who we hould definitely find her creepiness to be cute for some reason. In this case she thinks she is in love with her kindergarten teacher named Tsuchida. Or is it the other way around? Tsuchida is statistically (stated by the show  1/50) of the male population who rather take care of kids than anything else. The guy is a hero as we can. The cruel reality is that Anzu  is a byproduct of her high school dropout mom who married her teacher. Awesome parenting right there and great life lesson at that since this is an anime she got a good ending. Long story short Anzu is heavily influenced by her mom and that’s why she thinks hitting on adults is for cool kids. All of this could be partly ignored if we weren’t talking about kindergarten kid. Very adorable indeed.

You’ll either be weirded out by Loligarden or you won’t. The show displays plenty of innocent fun brought to you by 5 years old that will surely get some smiles from all crowds. There are moments when this show is interesting but a great majority of them is when the story revolves around the real grown ups than the little kids. Funny and cute fun is what this shows sells so I can definitely see that Hamaru Kindergarten is about having fun with kids, playing with kids, and watching kids. Failed attempt, that doesn’t compute after all for me. And we were getting there for a second..

Despite my initial judgmental and negative thoughts on this one, Hamaru Kindergarten managed to move slowly from horrendous pedophilistic crap to a hey-this-isn’t-what-I-thought-it-was I suppose it isn’t so horrible level. Just don’t let anyone know you’re basically watching babies. Loligarden comes with a message that says it’s totally A-ok to watch this type of thing.  For all it’s worth, Gainax is getting on with what’s out there for sure. Lolis in your shows are cool. Even babies know that.

Dance in the Vampire Dump

“[…] had came up with a large scale Lelouch vi Britannia plan to do just that.”

I still don’t know what this show tries to be. Despite the manga readers outrage after the first episode. I found the first episode to be relatively fine mind you. It quickly started to fall apart even more from there.  We have werewolves, vampires, the government, assassins, and who knows what else they got in store. What else could possibly be said about a show that changes after each episode. Among the many problems this show has is knowing in what direction this series is trying to go. Mina Teppes commands you.

Quick review. We have the loli vampire known as Mina Teppes, trying to get the vampires out in the world no matter what. For this she had came up with a large scale Lelouch plan to do just that and bought a place in an island where she’ll make her own kingdom. She already had Diehart in her team so things can only go up. Long story short, people are against her and they want her dead. I’d also want her sleeping with the fishes if she were to put the world at risk so she could satisfy her selfishness. Contrary to what she originally show us, Mina Teppes has more of tsundere and has submissive attitude that she displays when she is with the main character, totally losing the image of authority they give us is. Shaft itself wishes to emphasize the loli appeal in the ED theme and having her half naked in the OP while doing valet dancing. As I can see Shaft is living up to what they promise, except actually giving me a proper story.

I despite the horrible animation. The Ergo Proxy dark colors that make it harder to watch what’s going on in some scenes. Even the rough animation the characters gets on my nerves each time. DnV tries to be serious then show me high school shenanigans worth of CGR2 Ashford Academy and a list of other ridiculousness ensues in each episode that it’s hard to tell what it tries to be. DnV is quickly losing any real interest that I may had in this show if it continues just randomly processing in such a terrible way. Give me a story and stick with it, otherwise I’ll have to accept that this show is one where things just happen. This vampire seems like one that shouldn’t have gotten out of her coffin. Stab. Stab.

Bitches vs.  Battler

“[…] Nevertheless, it isn’t as horrible as Chu-bra.”

This is one of those shows I thought I was going to have an excruciating time watching but LvsB made it possible to not suck as much as I expected it to.  Obligatory kudos for that. But they’re the same makers of  Kanokon (that was a light novel too!?) oh no! The bordering hentai show named Kanokon that put the high for lewdness and low for quality.  Mind you, I never had the stomach to finish up this story featuring a horny fox  girl, Chizuru, whose biggest wish was to get violated by a shota named Kouta who could be considered a person with too high morals or just an idiot. Also let’s not forget all the countless reverse raep scenes featuring said shota that made it famous.  Very intriguing story of chixploitation as you can see. This isn’t exactly relevant to LvsB, just that I expected the worse of the worse when I saw it. Although I initially completely ignored, I pick LvsB up just to see what this show had to offer. I expected far worse, but at this point nothing could do worse than Chu-bra. I had already hit rock bottom unless there’s even another filthy layer of mediocrity below that, I was about to find out.

Mind you, you’re to watch these types of shows for two reasons fanservice and laughs. If it is for anything else then you’re doing it wrong. The premise is mildly interesting if you expect little after you learn how things work out in Bitches vs Battler. Poor guy enrolls in an academy for maids and butlers because he has no choice. In there he is prey of many misunderstandings and thrown in other situations, most of them stupid, the rest remarkably predictable, and other assuming for ecchi shows. The this-isn’t-what-it-looks-like! scenes are many and they will fill your head like you just inhaled a bottle of alcohol. If that turns out to be a horrible thing you may not get to watch another episode. Surprisingly,  it wasn’t as horrible as Chu-Bra.

True be told, I despite the Ladies vs Butlers animation. It’s horrible.That’s one of the things I dislike the most about the show for sure. To name a few are the shaky lines give the idea they’re drawn by someone who suffers from sudden Parkinson’s disease, the fluffy faces (where are the noses!?), the annoying and inexplicable saki-like pink blushing on their faces, and the dead eyes that were also used in Kanokon are back too. LvsB is bad, nevertheless, it wasn’t as horrible as Chu-bra then again what is.  Let it be known that after watching Chu-Bra just about anything in this season except Chu-bra itself can only reach terrible rather than god-awful state.

The comedy is fine when it involves the main guy being taken advance of by his vicious kindergarten classmate who happens to be attend this school too, whose  agenda is still unknown. In fact ignoring all the heavy ecchi scenes the most redeeming things about Ladies vs Battler was pretty much her and the trolling skills she displays in each episode. Posing as a good girl in front of others while she hides her real agenda under wraps. If I were to continue watching this it’ll probably be because of her. There isn’t much new or positive to say about this show that you probably haven’t seen, heard before or that I have already mentioned. Know that, Ladies vs Butlers will have its enjoyable moments as long as one keep in mind what one is getting oneself into. Without a doubt it’ll probably be terrible by average standards but not as atrocious as Chu crap.

Chu- CRAP

“[..] alternatively be used for interrogation and torture purposes.”

Virgin Mary and all saints whose names I’ll never know. Information overload. I don’t if I should be laughing or not, It’s most likely a combination of both after subjecting myself to watch Chu fucking Bra. That show was asinine of the point of no return that made me bleed from the insides like I swallowed  a  3-liter bottle of  broken glass. I feel I should receive a gold metal for putting up with it just to write my impression on it.

To some disgusting, plain obscene or just utterly retarded to be more precise.  What is this error? Underwear obsessed megane girl is fanatical about underwear. It doesn’t get any simpler than that.  Not only she has an abnormal interest in other girls undergarments aside her own but she even philosophies about the importance and PRIDE of underwear  users. In her speech it almost make it seem like she’s a martyr of the pantsu world here on earth to teach others about the greatness and supremacy of underwear. That’s only on the surface the truth is that.. she’s truly obsessed with underwear. She’s crazy enough to put her in psych-ward under high security with pitbull dogs guarding her cell. This girl is a threat to herself but more importantly she’s a threat to my entertainment.

I don’t even know who or what Chu-bra is actually aimed at. That’s one big mystery I’ve had a hard time solving as everything contradicts one another. It isn’t a guy’s show because the character designs are plain fugly to say the least. Talk about horrible characters, not to mention horrendous music too. The OP was enough indication that I was in for some visual torture even before the episode started. They could at least throw in some better animation to make it at least humanly watchable but they didn’t even do that. What positive thing I can possibly say about Chu-bra? I am not sure this even works as an anime but I’m damn sure Chu-bra could be used for interrogation and torture purposes on soldiers. Give it a few minutes and anyone would start spilling the beans begging you to turn it off. Even if I was being generous, this show is horrendous. I wish Chu-bra could be an ashtray so I could put out cigarettes on it over and over. I don’t even smoke, but getting a smoking addiction almost seems worth it.

Among the many mysteries this show has, one of them is that supposedly the fanservice comes from the main character sexually harassing her classmates and checking out their underwear. Somehow I get the feeling I’m supposed to find this interesting, arousing or appealing but to Chu-bra’s bad luck I don’t. When she isn’t being super creepily hyper about underwear she’s constantly going emo because no one takes underwear as srfknss like she does. Bummer for her. Actually, Chu-bra, as you can guess, takes underwear as the most serious business in the world. The main character takes either great offense to people who dare belittle undergarments or goes completely emo when she realizes the world doesn’t share her twisted mentality. This is by far one of the most idiotic excuses I’ve seen in anime to create unnecessary drama. I was supposed to watch at least four episodes to review all series but I just had to stop when they mentioned they were going to start a club about underwear in the next episode.  I thought, it can only go downhill from here, if it was even possible.

What is Chu-bra’s and the author’s idea when it was created is just beyond me unless their idea is to be disturbing INFORMATIVE and to appeal to the  actual underwear obsessed fans who would love to see a girl show creepy interest in said fetishes. This isn’t easy to come across but this show really makes one beg to stop. But Chu-bra is unyielding in this matter. It just won’t stop sucking. I dare not waste another single minute watching this. I’m re-dropping Chu-Bra. This is by far the worst show of the season.

– TERMINATED

The level of predictability in shows like these make you think one is psychic.
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2 thoughts on “Early Prosecution: Nitpicking the Winter Session – Trap to Test, Hanamaru Loligarden, Oppai Himari, Chu-Crap, Dance in the Vampire[…]

  1. Oh, the dead eyes in LvB. That’s the best way to put it. But that dilated pupil look has always disturbed me for some reason (little too much of that in Higurashi Rei IMO). Now I know why.

    • I try not to look right into their soulless eyes too much just in case. I really do think these guys have a career in the the horror genre.

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